It starts tomorrow!

So much has happened just since my last blog.  Today was the most drastic in terms of seeing it.  After washing my hair today, I split it into 4 little ponytails and braided each one.  Elliot did the first cut, the scissors getting a bit tangled in my hair.  Charlotte did the next, followed by Clayton and the last braid snipped by Gabby.  It didn't look too bad, Elliot's side was super short, and Gabby's had more of the front in it with a little longer length.  All my natural wave helped it have a little style.  A few hours later my friend Jama, who happens to be my go to hairdresser came over.  She worked her scissor magic and  pretty soon I had a sweet little pixie.  My first look in the mirror and I saw my mom in junior high.  Cousin Joe saw a picture and said I looked like Grandma Eck.  It's cute, and will be easy for the next few weeks before it is all the way gone.  That's a good thing since I don't see putting too much into energy into appearances for a bit. Feeling good and comfort are much higher on my list.

Tuesday Feb 18 I met with my oncologist for the first time.  I looked him up online ahead of time.  He looked young and had longish hair.  Good background and schooling it seemed, so we were set.  Clay, my parents and I all went together for the appointment.  We may have looked like quite the crew, my mom with her half shaved head, and us all walking into the Cancer center and it was me we were there for! Dr K walked in with a big ol' pair of cowboy boots on, shoulder length wavy hair, some sort of reddish pants on and a white linen Western style button up.  He still looks young, but I have been assured he is older than I think (and his credentials support that). Blood pressure still high, but that has been a given the past few weeks.  Lots of talk on what we are going to do to get started on treatment, what exactly Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma is, all the tests we need to get done, what the treatment is (RCHOP) all the side effects and and success rates.  Scary, Scary and Scary.  He took us out to reception to talk with them about what they needed to schedule for me, ASAP and how what was already scheduled was unacceptable and I was not going to wait that long to have it all done.  A man who wants what he says done, and my goodness it happened (even with the hoops of waiting for pre authorization from insurance!).
  Thursday I woke up after a little bit of a nightmare, the first since starting this journey.  It put me in a really emotional mood, along with having PMS, oh and having CANCER.  That day, I had a bone marrow biopsy.  To date it is the worst procedure I have had.  No prep, and only needing to be numbed up with lots of lidocaine (at least I didn't have to drink it like for my Endoscopic Ultrasound- that was the very worst taste).  Clay was at school so my parents came with me, my dad being too queazy and waiting in the waiting room.  My mom watched, interested at first and now saying she wouldn't do that again!  A tiny small slit in the back of my right hip, a needle pushed into the bone and then the soft part where the marrow is.  He suctioned out what he showed us looked just like blood with little white pieces in it- the marrow!  I have to keep a plastic bandaid cover thing on it for like 5 days.  The problem with it is, it HURTS.  My hip is achey and hurts all over the right hip, making it hurtful to lay on and walk at times. All Thursday I could only eat a high protein, low carb diet due to the next day's test even tho everything Thursday had no restrictions.  What I want to eat when sick and nauseous is not meat, or eggs.    Later in the day we headed up to the hospital where I went in for a MUGA, which is a nuclear heart scan.  They took some of my own blood out, then made it radioactive and put it back in me.  Then I lay on a machine where they hooked me up to a mini EKG and took pictures of how my left heart ventricle works.  They need to know how my heart functions before chemo.  Thursday night I was miserable, throwing up, sore and emotional.  Plus I still couldn't eat anything good.
  Friday morning I went in for a PET scan, it was a much better experience than the heart scan the day before.  Even tho it was much of the same thing- being injected with radiation  (then laying around in the dark relaxing for a half hour) and laying on a scan bed while a tube goes around me and takes mind blowing pictures of all thats going on inside my body, it was much more comfortable.  The Southern boy who did the scan helped me to feel peace, giving me blankets, putting on some good country music and making small talk, plus he wasn't allowed to tell me what the scan said (how bad the cancer is, my big worry).  Leaving there I went straight to the frozen yogurt place for breakfast (well technically the first thing to eat in 24 hrs) but they weren't open yet.  I ran into the store and got a few things we needed (like a birthday present for Gabby's friend, the one she was having her very first non family sleep over with that night) and then back for fro-yo which had just turned on their light.  The owner was there helping set up for the day, and he is a parent from Gabby's preschool days so we sort of know each other.  I got a small bowl, chatted with him for a bit and walked out with a free bowl of delicious fro-yo that hit the spot and knowing that another family is thinking good thoughts for my family and I.  Later on it was back to another appointment.  Even tho less than 3 weeks ago I had met with radiology about my renal biopsy, they had to do another consultation (so the books say, the nurse didn't think it was necessary) about my IV port placement.  The nurse gave us look at what is actually going to be placed under the skin of my right chest, letting us feel it and learning about how they do the placement. That will happen early Tuesday morning after having Chemo all day tomorrow.
  Today we got a little bit of a surprise when we awoke to snow. Yesterday there was a bit more than a dusting, but it rained and went away.  The evening brought snow that stuck around, and piled up.  There were about 4-6 inches when the kids and Clay were out building a snowman and playing.  It has quickly doubled, then you factor in the wind that is making huge snow drifts around and some spots have well over a foot.  I am not a fan of driving in the snow, or even other people doing it.  Clay did venture out to pick up my parents and bring them here for the hair cutting party, the roads were fine then.  With so much snow adding up all day I kept getting more nervous about making it to the Cancer center by 8am.  God knows what he is doing, trust him!  School is cancelled already, for Gabby and Clayton.  That means that Clay now gets to stay with me the entire time I am at chemo instead of having to drop me off and going to school.  Grandma R made it in last night before the snow came and she is more than lifting the stress I could have about finding childcare for the kids.  She will be here bright and early to take care of them each and every time we need her.  What a relief to know I don't have to shuffle them around to see who can help (even tho I have so many willing friends and family).   Pictures to follow, Danny has all the pics of the kids cutting my hair and i haven't upload any from my phone yet.
  On to the fight we go, tomorrow the Chemo will enter my body- working its science and magic to rid my body of this ugly Cancer.  xoxo