Chemo 2

I had Chemo treatment # 2 on Wednesday.  The morning first started out with a Dr appointment with the man who is just a character and I can't seem to quite figure out.  We all really like him, even if he hasn't been wearing his cowboy boots lately.  He still has the long hair, and the surprising sense of humor.   The BEST news he gave us was that the bone marrow biopsy I had a few days after our initial appointment, and a few days before my first chemo came back NEGATIVE!  I do not have cancer in my bone marrow!  What a gift that was to hear, it was something I have been fearing and after you keep getting more bad news about additional tumors it was so nice to have this be good news. Dr K also said that we are only aiming to do 6 treatments, of the recommended 6-8 they advise.  Not sure yet when we will have a PET scan done to check progress, but for sure after #6 but possibly after #4.  Once the results are back from that we will see weather or not I need to have radiation on my chest. I asked him if we could pull out the gnarly stitches that have been poking me and looking gross for since the bandage came off a week earlier.  He got the scissor and tweezer kit and offered to let Clay to the dirty work.  I declined his offer.  Not sure where the mix up was, but when I had the port put in they told me the stitches would dissolve or fall out (but this is what I remember, from being consciously sedated so who knows what they really told me.) Dr K said we may have waited a little long, that these were not going to fall out or dissolve. After a little cutting and tugging the sutures- (what my nurse later called me, not sure what the difference is or if there is one) were out, and Dr K let us keep the scissors because they just throw them away! 

 Chemo 2

 The port in use.  I was so nervous about this, mostly due to the fact I had trouble with the "red devil" drug and it scared me pretty badly when they did it through the IV in my arm the first time. I was nervous how bad it could be if it was going straight into a big vein by my heart.  Also, when the port was put in, there was the issue with it being kinked so I wasn't sure how it would work. Luckily I had amazing nurses who were able to talk me through my worries and assure me that the port was much safer and better all around. My main nurse for the day is a cancer survivor, she showed me her port scar even! It worked so much better than I had expected, such a blessing and an answer to my prayers.  I must say it was not the easiest thing to adjust to having the port in my chest- but now I realized I don't even notice it really!  By the end of Chemo I had major brain fog, and thanks to the steroids was able to  sleep only about 4 hours that night.  

 The day after Chemo I headed back to the cancer center with Mindi, I had to get my neulasta shot to bump up my blood count… and also we were on a mission to pick out a wig. This is the winner, it looks more natural in the picture than in person I think. It was the one that was the most ME… even though it has lots of highlights which I have never had.  

 I actually brought home two wigs to try out and get opinions on.  I have on the winner, and Elliot has on well the one that looks orange when I put it on and just isn't quite right- although he looks adorable in it.  

 Just for those who are curious, this is the port. those three little bumps under my skin are where they guide the needle to hook me up, it goes in the middle I think.  Right above it is the incision which they just glued closed and you can see more towards my neck the catheter that then feeds into my vein.  The sutures were up on my neck, and are barely visible here!

 Monday my hair started shedding, just a little bit more than normal.  It was easier to grab out.  Each day it got a little worse (seriously, one chemo treatment makes you loose your hair!) By Friday (now having had 2 chemo treatments) the hair was coming out practically in clumps.  I would roll over at night and get hair in my face from my pillow case. Washing it meant my hands getting furry.  Saturday I woke up disgusted by it all, the hair was not even putting up resistance when you tugged on it.  I showered and tried as much as I could to avoid touching it, but it was useless.  It looked like I had an animal on the shower floor and that's when I yelled to Clay that we needed to shave my head.

We headed over to my sisters house, Danny got out the clippers and I sat in the backyard while Elliot excitedly took the first turn and buzzed me right down the middle of my head.  I had talked to Gabby about it after my shower, and she said she didn't want to help but she did like pulling it out.  Clay, Molly, Charlotte, Danny and then Gabby even had a turn all shaving off the pixie cut I have grown a little fond of.  I had anticipated this part being harder, seeing myself bald.  I thought it would hit me more than I expected and yet it was the opposite.  It felt so FREEING.  I don't have this hair dropping off me all over and thinning.  Now I just have lots of tiny little hairs that rub off!  It feels good, and I am more secure with what I see than I thought I would be. Now if the eyebrows and eyelashes will stick around it will be really nice.  The leg hair, well I wouldn't mind not having to shave this Spring! I wore the wig to the farmers market today with the kids, and it didn't budge even with the wind.  However I feel like I look like I am wearing a wig (yes I know I am!) Later I went to the grocery store alone, bald headed and felt confident, a stranger even told me I was beautiful as he walked by me in the aisle.  Now I am bracing myself for the week to come.  The drugs leave my body within the first 24 hours or so, but they are so powerful and harmful that it's their side effects that are hard.  I have still been feeling energetic for the most part, but a little nauseas a few times so far (a zofran cures it pretty well).  We will see what the week brings, but no matter what I am going to take it!